FFT: Chapter 16--The OracleIn which Walker writes an atheist Chick Tract where rude, arrogant con artists are the best, people who find meaning in religion are a thousand kinds of wrong, magic is something only gullible people believe in, and actually researching or respecting monotheistic religions is seen as entirely pointless ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 15--Prince Gimme and the Fairy of the ForestIn which a prince falls for the Fairy of the Forest, who he’s never met, sets himself up to be kidnapped, and is tormented and terrorized by women and their cats while Zelda, Ket and I try NOT to have meltdowns about the sheer proliferation of mother goddesses and symbolic uteri in this story ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 14--The Sea Witch

In which disability can only be cured by more disability, making fun of disabled people is treated as fine if the disabled people expect it; girls should totally use sex as a way of thanking complete strangers; and the plot causes Ket to NOPE out before the story even begins.

#all the trigger warnings #all of them

FFT: Chapter 13--The Weaver

In which a mortal from Greek mythology is secretly a goddess AND a fairy queen; the female lead is as passive as Ana Steele; the villain wants to make the female lead his sex slave; the female lead is put on trial as a witch; and everything is the fault of the Inquisition and Baron Rothschild Wrathchild ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 12 Part II--The Descent of Shaloma

In which half-fairy princess Shaloma completes the blue, purple and black levels of the video game underworld, crosses the Not!River Styx, and meets the mixture of two goddesses in charge of this realm; the boyfriend’s ghost is a forensics expert; the Queen of the Underworld chews out the boyfriend ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 12 (Part I)--The Descent of ShalomaIn which Walker tosses a Mesopotamian myth and the Crucifixion in a blender; the heroine is a half-fairy princess; people only grieve for the dying because ritual calls for it; dancing is a form of teleportation; and Hellboy, theGhost of Christmas Present, the Terminator, and the Green Man show up ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 11--Ala Dean and the Wonderful Lamp (Part II)

The genie encourages slavery, Ala Dean makes wishes with permanent consequences for her entire nation, no one but Ala gets anything approaching agency, and magic in Walkerworld is transphobic.

FFT: Chapter 6--Ugly and the BeastIn which Walker hates merchants, beautiful women and transformation stories, the female lead is hideous and has no self-esteem, her family expresses little for her but ridicule, the grotesque Beast loathes his ex and claims to fear the female lead’s ugliness, the story winds up with the most broken of Aesops, and ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 2--Princess Questa (Part II)In which Questa switches from suffering physical abuse to emotional neglect before turning into Enjolras, the fairy allegedly aiding Questa remains useless, an abuser gets closure, Questa has some some simplistic solutions to complex problems, and there’s a guest appearance by Not!Robin Hood ( Read more... )

FFT: Chapter 2--Princess Questa (Part I)

In which Walker writes a fairy tale in which the female lead is neglected and abused by her father, emotionally abused and threatened with rape by her father’s knights, physically and emotionally abused by her lover…and we’re only halfway through the story. Also, a fairy gives the princess a magical toothed ( Read more... )